Perhaps you’re lying in bed at two in the morning, wide awake and fearful that your relationship is over. You have talked, you have argued, you have tried to listen and understand but nothing seems to change and you both feel stuck. Maybe you are thinking “If it continues like this, we will have to separate.” Chances are that if you opened this page, you have questions about your relationship even if you are not at a point of crisis.

When should you consider couples counselling?

Do you find you and your partner in an endless loop of argument and criticism where nothing seems to get resolved and you resort to resentful silence because talking just seems to make it worse?

Are you relatively new to the relationship and finding that trust issues are holding you back from a deeper connection?

Or have you been together for a long time and things have changed. New careers, the arrival of children, relocation to be closer to family or for a career opportunity can all affect a relationship and sometimes it can be difficult to locate exactly what is wrong and how to talk about it.

Relationship therapy, also known as couple’s therapy or marriage counselling, which I offer in-person in Brighton or online, is a specialised form of therapy. It provides you a regular, confidential space to slow down difficult conversations and understand what is happening between you. The focus is not on blaming either person, but on understanding the patterns that have developed between you.

Common relationship issues I can help with include repetitive arguments, emotional distance, loss of intimacy and trust, affairs, major life changes and parenting pressures. Therapy can help you understand the problem beneath the pattern, rather than treating each disagreement as a separate crisis.

Couples Therapy for communication problems and recurring arguments

Poor communication is the most common reason that couples seek relationship therapy. Often when other issues such as money, parenting or loss of intimacy arise, a lack of communication lies at the centre of the issue. In relationship therapy each partner is encouraged to speak and feel heard and understood and through this learn how to build a more fulfilling conscious partnership.

Rebuilding trust, emotional safety and connection in your relationship

Do you feel really present with your partner? Do you often feel there is an issue between you that neither of you know how to address? Emotional distance or insecurity can lead to behaviours such as emotional coldness, secrets and infidelity when people feel disconnected. None of this needs to be the end of the relationship, but it will require commitment from all involved to work together to rebuild safety and trust.

Couples therapy for loss of intimacy and sexual connection

Having children, stress from work, mismatched levels of desire and historic experiences of trauma or sexual abuse can all influence the quality of our sexual relationships. In relationship therapy we learn to be more open about our needs and boundaries and learn to be vulnerable in a safe environment and so understand each other more fully.

What happens in relationship therapy? In the first sessions, we look at what has brought you to therapy, how each of you experiences the relationship, and what you would like to be different. The work may involve slowing down conflict, noticing familiar patterns, practising new ways of speaking and listening, and making space for feelings that have become hard to express at home.

None of the problems I have outlined above need spell the end of a relationship. Working with a skilled relationship therapist provides a safe environment where each partner can express their needs and learn to communicate more effectively so that both feel understood and able to create a conscious partnership together.

I offer relationship therapy having completed specialist training and being awarded a certificate in relationship therapy accredited by the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT)

Book a free relationship therapy consultation in Brighton or Online

If you would like to explore whether relationship therapy could help you find a more fulfilling partnership, you are welcome to contact me to arrange a free half-hour consultation.

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